Blog bogdown

In the middle of the night I am up with my computer on my lap.  I can't sleep.  I haven't written here for months now, but I've considered sitting down with this quite a few times.  Disciplined writers work at it day after day and get through blocks with persistence and fortitude.  I suppose I am not such a writer.  I have been painting instead and changing - not just the color of the rooms of my home - but myself.  Change is constant, as you know, but sometimes the eventfulness of the change is pretty consuming, and that's what I have noticed since I wrote last.  Continual change.  The way I see people, what matters to me, how people affect me.  More important than me - my opinion, my self-orientation - is the way the world works out problems, how equilibrium plays out in real time.  You know, the dynamic steady state.  A little of this and a little of that - balancing each other out, playing off each other.  Chinese call it the yin and yang of existence.  I think about that.  A lot.  I see it everywhere. 

On the other hand, we have blogging.  I guess that what I want to do, and what blogging is, are two different things.  Blogging is:  "I went to the store today and saw the new shop that has just opened up.  I went in and bought a cute little doodad and wow was that cool."  Or it could be:  "I am a specialist in the field of political punditry and my opinion is very important.  You should pay attention to all I have to say each and every day." 

Realizing that it is 2:57 AM, I am not unblogging.   Instead, I am certainly uncertain about which direction to go with writing.  I write because I think.  Better than that would be:  I think because I write, which is true.  But, if logic applies:  If I don't write, I don't think.  I'm lost and I don't think it matters right now.  I'll straighten it all out later. 

It's nearly Christmas 2009, the nighttime world is asleep.